Guest Columnist Corner

Dear Reading Public,

This is not your normal Soccer Addict ! I am a guest writer, having won the right to post on this blog as the result of winning a massively important and difficult quiz on Digo Jota. I would like to use this opportunity and platform to address a very serious issue: is it still “cool” to dab? Let me explain. I think all of my readers would agree that I am super hip. When I am not hashtagging on the TikTok, I am hanging with my super friends at cool places like Orange Julius and The Dream Machine. And when I do something cool I like to celebrate with a public display of my coolness: the dab. You can dab anywhere: school, work, church and you can dab while doing anything: getting a haircut, mowing the lawn, shopping at the Depot (cool speak for Home Depot). So you can imagine my shock when my supposedly cool kids told me that dabbing stopped being cool in 2016. Wrong!! If dabbing is no longer cool, why did everyone cheer when I dabbed at my bosses last staff meeting? We “killed” the third quarter! Dab! So, point one, kids are wrong and dabbing is still cool. Post that on Twitter.com!

My overlords at Soccer Addict tell me that this post needs to be about soccer. Lame! I can write about anything I want. Dab! But, nevertheless, let me bring this back to the “beautiful game.” According to a web search that I have done on www.AskJeeves.com, some awesome football stars have dabbed. For example, according to a 2017 article from the Telegraph that I could not actually see or read because they wanted me to subscribe, it appears in 2017 many English footballers were dabbing. Also, I watched a video on YouTube.com from 2016 shows many super cool players dabbing like someone from Manchester United (sorry, I could not figure out who). So point two, soccer stars dab! I bet Virgil dabbed when he got his new PS5. Dab!

Third, when I am kicking-A (sorry for my “blue” language on this family friendly blog - dab!) at FIFA, I like to dab after I score a goal. Ipswich Town - dab ! Now, my son will tell you that sometimes I have shut down the game without saving because I get mad when he beats me. Fake News! Dab! I might be the best Fifa player in my neighborhood between the ages of 40 and 43. Dab! When playing with Ipswich Town I rock it with Kayden Jackson, James Norwood, and Kane Vincent-Young. Thanks to my smart leadership and masterful gameplay, Ipswich Town was promoted to the Championship. And when that happened I turned down the lights and did something super cool: I dabbed

Sorry that I can’t hang out any longer. I need to go post a viral video on something cool like TokTik or LinKedIN. But in conclusion, I am not a “dinosaur” as my children would seem to suggest. I am really good at FIFA. And my final point, guess who dabs: Digo Jota. Yep, the same player whose quiz I aced. As the cool people say: Case Closed. Go Liverpool !!

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