Soccer Jokes

Everyone loves a good joke. So I hope to make you laugh with these soccer jokes!

I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.

Why shouldn’t you play soccer with pigs?
Their ball hogs.

What’s a soccer fan’s favorite lotion brand?
Olay, olay, olay, olay!

Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

What do soccer players drink?

What do you call a soccer team’s lunch in the park?
A kick-Nic!

What is a knight’s favorite soccer team?
New Castle

What does Guardiola do at halftime?
He gives his team a Pep talk.

Why was the soccer pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner.

Why is Manchester United like a pound coin?
They’re good in the UK, but useless in Europe

What is the difference between a Parrot and FC Barcelona?
A parrot has two decent wings.

Why can’t you play soccer in a jungle?
There are too many cheetahs.

Pessimists see the glass half empty, and optimists see the glass half full, while England never sees the cup.

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